November Ramblings 23/11/2014

I’ve always found that the most difficult thing in life is finding people you connect with enough to consider friends. I’m not the type of person to just randomly walk up to someone and introduce myself. Seeing people and meeting people face to face. But every now and then I just see something in someone that just screams to me “I have to get to know this person”. I can’t really describe it, but it’s a feeling that will nag at my mind until I give in to it. I see something in someone that reminds me of myself or my favorite things and I guess it becomes irresistible. They might be the most ordinary or extraordinary, but most times they turn out to be crazy, fun and definitely worth the chance. It’s not often you come across people that you feel as though belong in your life and you feel as though without them, your life wouldn’t be complete. Every once in a while you meet people who you feel as though have broken away from your very soul and returned years later to tell you the stories that you’ve missed out on.

A lot of the time, you get to know people, grow up with them and suddenly, they aren’t there anymore. It could be from just clashing opinions to the situations we face or from lack of interest. The funny thing is, we always seem to get past whatever it was that came between us and sometimes even forget for a time but then remember the good things that brought us together in the first place. It’s really important, for obvious reasons, that we never forget what built a foundation for us to get to know people. It’s difficult to remember sometimes but eventually something will spark in our minds to casually let us ponder upon the moment where we’ve first thought “I don’t know who you are or where you came from, but you’re weird and I like it”.

I’ve come to realize that I have so many people in my life, an increasing and unique population of people that make each day as bright as I could ever need it to be and then some. Whether they be acquaintances, random people from the internet, family or close friends, we’re all caught in a net of being connected to each other somehow. It could be something as simple as watching the same kind of television shows to being in the same confusing situation, brought together by the need to solve an issue by working together. Either way, we find a way to stay close to the people we come to care about and not feel badly when leaving others out of the circle because we know that, eventually, they will find the same things we have, just through other people.

People often tend to “lose their way” on their own path that they choose. I know from personal experience what it’s like to feel like you have nothing or no one around to keep your mind distracted from things that are bothering you. I’ve been dealing with social anxiety for a while now and it never gets any easier alone. But as soon as you find those few people who you feel completely comfortable with and that you can’t live a day without, things begin to get better. You feel more free and feel as though an incredible weight is lifted off your body enough to look up and hold your head higher than before. Other times you find things to do to get your mind off of the people that mean most to you and attempt to take a break from the strain of not being able to connect with people the way you believe you should.

Just don’t worry. In time, everything comes together. Old bonds arise once again, completely new bonds form and from this, a new net is formed to reflect who you are. Without your friends who create the net, there’s no one there to catch you if you fall. The bonds you create that keep the net together. The connections you keep define who will be there to help you back to your feet. It isn’t a one way road, there’s always give and take with every relationship you come across. The key to all of this is to help keep someone else’s net as strong as they make yours so that you can help them if they need you. You’ll never truly know someone, only the person they choose to show us. The main thing is to believe in the people that matter to you because, after all, they’re the ones that make you feel as though you matter.